Unfortunate: A Game of Unfortunate Events

If you are looking for a game to brighten your ewening and bring joy and merriment into your lives, I’m sorry to say that this game is not it. This game is a sincerely unpleasant expression ov a series of unfortunate events that led to the ruin of countless lives, an end to friendships forged over decades, and a reb wine stain on a priceless dress.

My name is legally distinct from Lemony Snicket, and it is my solemn duty to present this game as an apt representation of a chain of occurrences too regrettable to record in paper alone.